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Need Time to Think

I decided to play $5/10 again last night.  The Old "I am due for a win" theory.  I mean, "how many nights in a row can I be a loser?  I'll just play one table.  Wait for my hand and then pounce."  To make a long story short, I waited for my hand, a flopped set of sevens, played it hard, and got 2-outtered on the river by a guy holding KK.  I finished the orbit (might as well get the raked hands for the Party bonus) and quit the table down 9 BB. 

That hand is not the problem.  I'll get 2-outtered like that about 4.4% of the time, right? 

Being down 9 BB made me depressed.  Depressed as in, "I should just quit and never play anymore" depressed.  Depressed as in, "Maybe I should drink that whole bottle of wine even though I have to be up at 0500".  Depressed as in , "I'm just gonna mope until I go to bed". (Which is what I did, btw - mope.)

It's only 9 BB, but they were 9 BB at the max limit I will play, which is not supposed to matter to me, but it does. 

I was supposed to only be playing for fun this month.  While a +20 BB session would be a barrel of monkeys at any limit right now, I knew that losing 5 or more BB at $5/10 - a completely reasonable probability - would be really really devastating to my beleagured psyche.  But I played $5/10 anyway.

What does all that mean?  The bottom line is that I am the problem.  Not that I am playing poorly, although I have never made any claims to perfect play .  The problem is my response to my situation.  I don't know at this point what I am going to do about it.  I need some time to think.  Taking that time might cost me the current Party bonus and my chance at double Poker Stars FPPs.  I think that's going to be a small opportunity price to pay if it can contribute to fixing my problem - me.

I think I'll play some.  I just don't think I'll play in anything that will be meaningful to my bankroll.  Some micro-limits, maybe finish out that PitBull Poker free money chase, I have some other "fun money" accounts where I may also play.  Maybe some $5 SNGs.  Some freerolls.

I'll get back in the grinding saddle eventually, but I don't know when.  Whenever I have some epiphany or Zen moment, I'll know.  And I'll let you know.  Until then I will be wandering through the poker wilderness, looking for my "Fu".

Posted by Bullajami on May 17, 2006 08:35 AM |

Comments

Bull,

I think your problem is all the bonus chasing at this bonuswhoring rock garden sites. I was having similar problems as you playing at all the good bonus sites and changed to play at sites with little or no bonuses where players were seeing more than 30% (even 40%) of the flops (Paradise, Pacific, Bodog) and I am doing much better and more importantly having more fun playing.

Absolute and the crypto sites are worthless even taking the bonuses into account. Even Party looks like a rock garden nowadays and even if you find a good table it does not take long before all the tight players take it over. It is pretty hard to beat a game like that and is really boring even if you can.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

Posted by: bugsysiegel [TypeKey Profile Page] | May 17, 2006 12:09 PM

I think that you are at least partly correct. The rock gardens at Absolute and Crypto are beatable, but when slumping, they are probably amplifying the pain. I will consider the alternatives. Thanks!

Posted by: Bullajami [TypeKey Profile Page] | May 17, 2006 06:08 PM

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