Some More on My "Fu"
I didn't play any poker last night, but I thought another entry today was in order anyways. After re-reading my last entry, I am not sure if that bit of rambling made sense to anyone except me.
I regard the events of Saturday night to be positive in my quest for "fu" - a word I have decided to use to describe the perfect attitude about playing poker. I believed I had poker fu at one time, but I seem to have lost it. Or perhaps it was beaten out of me. But I think its more likely that I almost had poker fu. Because in my idyllic perception of this mental space, you couldn't lose it or have it beaten out of you. The fact that I did lose it or have it beaten out of me implies I never really had it. But I think I was close. Six months or so ago, I was close.
So, why was Saturday night positive from a quest for fu perspective? I won money at the cash tables - a rare occurrence, yet I realized later I was not in the correct frame of mind to play. I think that's really key here. I had a positive result, but I don't regard it as a positive experience. My cards were good, but I did not conduct myself in a manner consistent with a right-thinking poker player. I left a really good table for no other reason than I was afraid to give back my initial winnings. A player with fu would have realized it was a wonderfully +EV situation, and played until it wasn't. I did not do that. The fact that I can now begin to see this is the positive outcome of that experience. (The $50 is nice, too!)
Confusing? I had a positive result from the cards, but a negative attitude, but I recognized the attitude problem, so it's net positive. Are we all on the same page now? 
Next question is 'what to do about it?' How does one overcome attitude at the table? Do you simply say to yourself, "I know it would be cool to hit and run from this table with the $50 I've made thus far, but I am going to continue to play here anyways because it's a good table and I should be able to win some more"? Is that the correct mental frame to be in at a table? Feeling like you should leave, but knowing you should stay, so you force yourself to continue playing? That does not seem healthy either.
How does one void the emotion from the tables? Learning that seems to be my ultimate goal. Learning that means finding fu. I am just not certain what the next step on that learning path should be.
There are a few things tied into my emotional involvement at the table. One is that I do not view chips as chips unless I am playing .25/.50 an below. Above that and I am counting the impact, + or -, every pot I'm in. Above that and getting outdrawn by someone playing poorly irritates me. Below that and I think it's funny, and I don't mind. Intellectually I realize there's no difference. I should have the same reaction to hands I lose to donks at $3/6 as I do at .10/.20. In reality it does not work this way for me.
This has no impact on the way I play at the tables, mind you. At least nothing measurable in Poker Tracker. My stats are similar at all limits. However, it has a big impact on whether or not I'll keep myself in (or take myself out of) a scenario where I have +EV. Its why I quit a juicy table after one orbit. Overcoming this is gong to be a huge step on the road to fu.
Suggestions are always welcome.